In an homage to McSweeney's I put out an easel at our Christmas Eve Brunch with list topics and let guests add their ideas. Here is the result of the collaboration:
Lesser-Known Reindeer
Dasher
Prancer
Comet
Vixen
Donner
Cupid
Dancer
Blitzen
(OK, so my guests aren't familiar with McSweeney's and don't understand my game. It does get better)
Gifts the Baby Jesus Would Have Liked Better Than Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh
Diaper Genie
Baby Toys
A Nice Warm Crib
A Dog
A Rattle
Blanket
Dolly
Nintendo DS
No Hay
Along With "Pout" and "Cry", Things Santa Better Not Catch You Doing
Whining
Drinking a Mimosa Before 11:00 am
Drinking as a Kid
Giving X-Lax to the Reindeer
Talking Back to Mother
Being Mean
Saying Shut Up
What Robots Want for Christmas
World Domination
New Parts
Better Living
A Makeover
Not to Be Broken or Played With
Space Ship
Wife
News to me.
Make your own here,
Through the kindness and generosity of the Florida Donohues, I had a delicious barbeque chicken sandwich for lunch. Thank You Mike & Jean!
I just received this exciting news from Jim Cavan (my brother-in-law, once removed) regarding his company, Sovereign Exploration Associates (SEA) and the project he is working on with our friend Beth Murphy and Principle Pictures:
"NBC’s Today Show will feature a story on Thanksgiving morning, Thursday November 23, 2006 on Sovereign Exploration’s activities around the discovery of the fleet of ship believed to include the HMS Fantome. Additionally, a shorter, version will air on NBC’s Weekend Nightly News on Sunday November 26th. The stories will be available for rebroadcast online at www.msnbc.com under the "Today Show" and "Nightly News" sections. Sovereign’s initiatives are being documented as part of Principle Pictures’ “Shipwrecks That Changed the World” series.
The report on the show will concentrate on what many experts feel may be the discovery of a small fleet of ships believed to include the HMS Fantome, a British warship that sank off the coast of Nova Scotia in 1814. The fleet was on its way home to Britain after a raid on Washington , DC during the War of 1812 in which the crew ransacked the White House and the Treasury.
Beth Murphy, President and Founder of Principle Pictures, stated, “Incredible American history is going to be pulled from the bottom of the ocean floor for the world to see and understand. In two hundred years there have been only two artifacts from the White House raid that have been recovered—a jewelry box and a painting of George Washington rescued by Dolley Madison as she ran out of the burning White House. The importance of this underwater site to American history is unprecedented.”
Sovereign Exploration Associates International (OTC BB:SVXA) has created a media partnership with Principle Pictures to capture the discovery and recovery of what may be the Fantome as it occurs. This media partnership plans the creation of at least five television documentaries and a series of companion books, educational tools, and interactive Web sites. Sovereign Exploration Associates International's large catalogue of historically significant marine archaeological and recovery projects will provide an exciting new point of view on the history of North American and European development.
Additional information on the HMS Fantome can be found on our website at www.sea-int.com"
Update 11/27/06:
Sovereign Exploration’s segment from the Thanksgiving Today Show is now available online for those who may have missed it or wish to see it again.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12495628/
It's in Part 2 about 4 minutes into the broadcast.
I poached this from McSweeney's
Alternate Titles
for O.J. Simpson's
New Book.
BY JEFF DRAKE, WENDY MOLYNEUX, JOHN ROBERTSON, AND ANN SLICHTER
- - - -
Stab This Book
Stab Your Wife With This Book
Beat Your Wife to Death With This Book
Tuesdays With Stabby
Are You There, God? It's Me, a Multiple Murderer
To Kill a Mockingbird, Wherein the Mockingbird Is Your Ex-Wife and Her Friend, the Waiter
What to Expect When You're Expecting to Stab Someone
Click here for link to funny solution for telemarketing calls.
Que Hora Es - the Spanish soap opera for those with very limited Spanish vocabulary.
I'll admit it, I can't get enough of the Rev. Ted Haggard story ...and now, its a musical (sung to the tune of that famous Mary Poppins song)
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis MP3
I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade
Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade
But if it's true I'm pounding more than pulpits, don't blame me
It's 'cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud's infirmity
It's
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis
We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis:
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
I found the perfect therapist - the kind that gives massage
I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage
I swear he only serves me crank when all his Coke is gone
And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John
Blame
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
That's my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N' Roses
Good thing there's no ban on it in all the books of Moses
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly
But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I
Say "Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy's underage!"
But I believe the congressman has turned another page
Oh!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas
No more meth or men for me - at least in overdoses!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis!
(Just a spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down...)
Thanks to Joe.My.God for providing the link above.
The most elegant list of pet peeves and minor irritations ever.
I'd love to see an American version.
I'd add, "It takes too long to post on my blog"
